Revolutionary Banking Services with Shite Bank

Switch to online-only banking today with Shite Bank.

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or get started today for free

What's inside?

Grab a bundle and get started!

Our better banking bundle bunches (BBBBs) offer the best deals in banking.

Retroactive Fraud Prevention

After fraud occurs, we hop in a turnstile and prevent it from ever happening.

Simulated Budgets

We simulate all the budgets for you, no red pill or bullet dodging required.

Free Banking

We offer our banking completely free. No taxes, fees, charges, or strings attached!

Fantastic Loans.

Forget fees, dues, taxes, or charges. Our loans are completely free, you don't even have to pay them back for the first 5,961,600 seconds!

  • ✅ FREE
  • ✅ Just pay it back in 5,961,600 seconds!
  • ✅ Easy to manage.


We've got some great numbers.

If only they were real...


Yearly Account Balance Growth


Daily Growth

100 Billion


250 Billion


Simple and easy pricing.

Everything is free. Give us your money. Now.


Everything included.


We don't give out refunds, so don't bother asking.

(in)Frequently Asked Questions

Lots of people don't bug us with these questions. Shut up and read.

Still have questions? Too bad.

We're a bank. A really, really fake bank.

It is more effective to prevent scammer detection with a landing page than to just have a login screen. Also its funnier.

It was included with the original template, so I must fill the void.

That isn't a question, and the answer is no.

Shite Bank

Let's get banking.